i think my mom watched the whole time
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
