when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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