I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
