trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I fill condoms, not promises.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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