I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
