do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I think your dad took our porno
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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