Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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