puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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