So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
