non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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