His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
