I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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