What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I cut my penus on the lid.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Randomize
