That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
