Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
