More tranny stories later!
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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