In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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