Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
