She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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