Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i think i have herpe
just one?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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