If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
