I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
