I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
