I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I stole a fireplace last night.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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