Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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