I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
