Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
