I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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