yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize