Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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