mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize