I'm jealous of your bromance
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
