mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
