he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
