Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You made out with two different species that night
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
