i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
meet me or not, i'm out of control
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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