remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize
