My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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