I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
