im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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