Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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