the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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