So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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