why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
