Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
