i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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