Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
