I don't usually arrange sex via text message
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
