im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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