Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
