you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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