okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
