No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
