D3 body, D1 cock
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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