I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
