speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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