Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
