I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize