I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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