Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
