i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
No subtext here. People are naked.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
