I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
