this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
