Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
