he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The uberlube is also flammable
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
