I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
