I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
