True but thats because hes a fetus.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
