some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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