ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
