i already hear my dad disowning me
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
