don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
