Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I FOUND THE LEGS
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
