Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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