What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
