well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
