Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
